Spewage

I haven't felt like blogging latetly. I am too tired and too down to make the time and take the brain power to write much of anything.

These are some hard times. We still have not sold a vehicle after buying the minivan this summer. We didn't anticipate that it would take so long-3 months and counting. We had both other cars on the market (the Escape and Mike's 300-ZX) up until recently. Now we are just focusing on selling the Z, as we could never fit 3 kids in the microscopic backseat. Anyway, it is a small scale version of being stuck with two houses again. Thank goodness that a car is MUCH less of a financial burden. We keep having interest in the cars and offers made, but they have been really pathetic, low-ball offers. Like 3K less than asking price (and we have priced the vehicles pretty fairly and keep lowering the price each week). It's depressing.

I have serious sleep issues. Whenever I am upset or stressed, my sleep suffers greatly. It is rare for me to have a good night's sleep these days. I am up for hours tossing and turning and mulling things over in the middle of the night almost every night. And to make matters worse, Lucas is starting to give up his naps so I am hardly getting a break during the day. I am one fried mama. We are working on having quiet rest/play time in his room, but the trick has been to get him to stay in there. It's been pretty butt-kicking.

Our finances are beyond tight. Last month almost all of our bills were paid late. I am sick of getting calls from the mortgage company and threatening letters about turning off our power. Mike is working extra hours now, too, and getting paid more for it. Yet we don't seem to have any financial freedom. We have a roommate so that we can afford to live, that in itself is full of challenges.

I am finding that I am quite a bitter, angry grumbling person these days. I am not very tolerant of others differences. I am not very compassionate when my kids get me up in the middle of the night. I am very selfish. It has been a miserable way to live and I need to change things.

I had a thought yesterday when praying to God about how to handle this problem. I think that I need to Thank God for the challenges and growth opportunities. For the refinements. Thank God instead of bitching in my head all of the time. The bitching gets me nowhere but sick.