I am finding myself more fearful in this pregnancy for some reason. I think about miscarriage more. I worry that I am carrying twins. Lucas prayed this morning that there would be two babies in mommy's belly. That's just great! I wanted to tell him to shut up.
I worry that the baby (ies) will be unhealthy or have some sort of deformity. I have been so blessed with two beautiful, healthy and wonderful children so far. How could I have another one?
Will this new baby be a terror? The first two are pretty mild mannered and behaved.
Can I even handle another? I feel on the verge of insanity at times!
God please calm these worries and give me peace. I know that you only give us what we can handle/are capable of with your strength. Help me to lean into and trust you.
4 comments:
I'm praying with you:)
Good post, about valid fears.
Could it be said that this is the one thing that we have the least control over?
With other aspects of our life we can seek God while we work hard, weight the pros and cons, and make our own decisions. Even with our spouse, while God absolutely leads us to each other and blesses the relationship, we can still choose to deny the relationship for whatever reason.
With children though, there is literally nothing that we can do about it on our own. No work to do or decisions to make, aside from taking care of yourself throughout the pregnancy of course. God simply gives us the children that He wants us to have.
And the complete lack of control is certainly not something that that we are used to or is comfortable.
I think that most people have these fears. I was a bit more apprehensive this time around in the begining, too. What I have learned though, because of all the scares we've gone through so far, is...God will carry you through. It truly is His plan molding your life and the life within you.
So, I totally understand and will continue to pray for you.
I think we all have these fears with pregnancy. You're in my prayers for a happy, healthy pregnancy and baby.
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