Adding Insult to Injury

This morning my kids slept in for the first time all week. They slept until the blissful hour of 6:30. This was huge because Lucas is back to his old evil tricks of getting up at around 5:30 most days much to our delight. But wouldn't you know that today would be an early running morning for me. I had to be out the door at 6:30 (luckily not as early as I go on weekdays). It was tough to get up when I finally could have been getting a little more snooze on for a change.

Erin and I ran 8 miles again today. We did the same run last Saturday. I felt great last week...could have kept going and going like the Energizer bunny. Today, not so much. I felt my knee joints starting to ache, my toe was burning with each step as the run progressed (I discovered a nice blister when I got home), I got a friction burn in my armpit because I forgot to apply my body glide, and I felt like vomiting for some reason in the last mile or so.

And to make matters worse, after I got all cleaned up I went outside and a neighbor asked me if I was pregnant again. I felt embarrassed for her and for me that 11 months later, almost a year has gone by since having Emily, and I still look slightly pregnant apparently. Damn it, I hate what having kids did to my body. Shot to hell, I tell you.

I'm Alive

There was an old pep phrase that I had taped to my computer monitor back in my Sprint telemarketing days.

It went something like this: I'm alive and awake and I feel great!

So that is where I am at today. Definitely better than I was a month or so ago or even last week for that matter.

I had a realization today. An epiphany of sorts. I was trying to take a much needed nap while the kids were doing the same when I heard the phrase "Bloom where you are planted." in my head.

This message really resonated with me. I spend much of my time more or less hating my life, feeling this crushing burden on my shoulders, drowning in my many responsibilities (kids, housework, cooking, Pampered Chef, marathon training, trying to be a decent wife) that I can only do halfway, and fighting daily just to keep my head above the water. I've prayed before that I wouldn't just survive (that's how my life feels, like survival mode), but thrive.

Well, I was reminded of that prayer and desire again today in a fresh new way. So tonight, instead of being ticked off if Emily wakes up in the middle of the night and screams for 2 hours like she did last night, I will try to bloom. Even though I am in a hard place, flowers grow best in manure. I want to be beautiful and flourishing in this season. I am sick of being a bitter stink weed.

School Days

I am so very excited for Lucas!! My big boy will be starting preschool two mornings a week in September. Ever since we visited the class a month or so ago, he has been asking to go to preschool. He loved it and who wouldn't...Thomas the Train, cars and trucks, puzzles, a playground, and snack time! What is not to love?

I found out this week that he was accepted for a scholarship to the school which makes it possible for us to afford. So stay tuned for tales of his first day of school...