Only one more year of my twenties to go. Weird. Am I old?!
Last year on this day, I found out that I was pregnant. My how my life has changed in just 365 days. Different home, different job, different state. It's like I am not really me anymore. Wait, I am still me, but only better.
6/27/2005
6/26/2005
Fears Realized
Today, two of my greatest fears came true today (well nearly anyway).
1) My little boy almost rolled off our bed.
2) I put my hand in the garbage disposal with the "blades" still spinning.
Let's just say that I caught him just in time before he fell to bonk his head or worse. And luckily all of my digits remain intact after reaching into the disposal that was still apparently on. I wouldn't stick my hand in there for years fearing that it would just randomly turn on. Now it is something that I routinely clean out. I turned the switch off and stuck my fist in only to feel the quick sting of the churning machine. It did absolutely nothing to me, but I hurt mentally for an hour or so. Mike wouldn't take me to the hospital like I asked him. Jerk!
Now I need to avoid all bridges (so I don't drive off), walking on thin ice (so I don't plunge into the frigid depths unable to find the hole I fell in), and guard my teeth with my life (so they don't get shattered, of course). And then there are spiders...
1) My little boy almost rolled off our bed.
2) I put my hand in the garbage disposal with the "blades" still spinning.
Let's just say that I caught him just in time before he fell to bonk his head or worse. And luckily all of my digits remain intact after reaching into the disposal that was still apparently on. I wouldn't stick my hand in there for years fearing that it would just randomly turn on. Now it is something that I routinely clean out. I turned the switch off and stuck my fist in only to feel the quick sting of the churning machine. It did absolutely nothing to me, but I hurt mentally for an hour or so. Mike wouldn't take me to the hospital like I asked him. Jerk!
Now I need to avoid all bridges (so I don't drive off), walking on thin ice (so I don't plunge into the frigid depths unable to find the hole I fell in), and guard my teeth with my life (so they don't get shattered, of course). And then there are spiders...
6/20/2005
Silence
What is it anymore? It's something that I rarely hear these days. I shower to screaming, eat to whining, and shop to cries. Oh and I have a good baby. He's not colicy or anything. Oops, there he goes, he's up and fussing AGAIN...gotta run.
Sleeping In
I have a whole new perspective on sleeping in now that I am a momma. This morning when the sun came streaming in the window, I peeked at the clock and it was a little after 6 am. I thought, "Oh good, I get to sleep in today." And I actually felt refreshed for a change. REFRESHED AT FREAKING SIX IN THE MORNING!! I remember the days not too long ago when sleeping in was snoozing until around 9 am. Now we are lucky to get shut eye after 6.
Yesterday was a tough morning. He woke up at 4:30 am and didn't want to go back to bed after that. I think that he wanted to be with his daddy for Father's Day. So we pulled him in between us and eventually the little guy conked out and we were able to get a tad more rest in. I kinda like those weekend mornings where we all cuddle up together in our bed. It reminds me of crawling into my own parent's bed when I was a kid. And how safe and loved I felt. Now we are on the other side of the bed--the parents. It is still crazy to think it, yet wonderful.
Yesterday was a tough morning. He woke up at 4:30 am and didn't want to go back to bed after that. I think that he wanted to be with his daddy for Father's Day. So we pulled him in between us and eventually the little guy conked out and we were able to get a tad more rest in. I kinda like those weekend mornings where we all cuddle up together in our bed. It reminds me of crawling into my own parent's bed when I was a kid. And how safe and loved I felt. Now we are on the other side of the bed--the parents. It is still crazy to think it, yet wonderful.
6/17/2005
It's Official
Starting next week, I start my training for the December 4 California International Marathon. I've recruited a training sucker, er, I mean partner and I am rearing to go. I've got 10-15 pounds to go to get my old body back and I may just be there in time for bathing suit season. Whoopie!
Alone
This week I started really feeling like I am very much alone in California. Sure, I have friends here, but no real compadres as of yet. I don't talk on the phone with anyone. No girls night at a coffee shop. Or ever take a quick walk or jog with anyone. Just me and my baby all day long. It's a really tough transition after spending most of my life in one place and having countless pals to call up and/or hang out with in Orlando. I am no longer working either, so I have no real adult interaction. And Mike is gone for 10+ hours a day and then wants to have his unwind time, balance the check book, etc, when he walks in the door. After dinner and Lucas' bath, I am off to bed (often by myself).
I miss my friends, I miss my husband, I miss my old self and life. But I wouldn't give up this time with my sweet child for anything. I am just in a new stage now and hopefully I will get used to it and into more of a routine soon.
I need to be more purposeful about making friends, too. It is I who needs to make the effort. People here already have their friends, so I must seek them out. Maybe this season of aloneness is so that I can focus on God and my baby.
I miss my friends, I miss my husband, I miss my old self and life. But I wouldn't give up this time with my sweet child for anything. I am just in a new stage now and hopefully I will get used to it and into more of a routine soon.
I need to be more purposeful about making friends, too. It is I who needs to make the effort. People here already have their friends, so I must seek them out. Maybe this season of aloneness is so that I can focus on God and my baby.
6/16/2005
Busted
Last weekend as my sister was visiting, we ventured out for some sight seeing. I had my first feed Lucas in public experience. We were in Old Sacramento, a local tourist spot that resembles an gold mining town and it was time for my little boy to eat. Mike helped me to find a quiet bench in a secluded seeming area. There were hardly any people around as I covered myself with a blanket and started to feed my son. And then wouldn't you know it...a tour bus pulled up and people poured out. I'm glad that I wasn't arrested for indecent exposure. Oi.
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