Seven

This is the number of times that my son has puked since being fed this morning. What is the mother *#$%ing problem? Is he not being burped enough, does he have acid reflux (which might entail meds and me having to give up more foods), did he eat too much, or maybe he just likes the taste of it?! I am so frustrated with the new story of my life. It's such a guessing game and I hate that about it. I want a formula to this child rearing thing. I want to know the answers. WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO HARD? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Wishful Thinking

Oh and about that marathon in December...don't think that it is happening...this year, anyway. The training is not coming along. First off it's hotter than hell (100+) here most of the day. Second, I cannot get my butt going in the morning because this kid keeps waking up so freakin' early. I am lucky to get 5-6 hours of sleep per night which really isn't enough for me. Yes, I should go to bed earlier, but then I really wouldn't have a life. Perhaps I will shoot for the half instead. 13 miles is a little more realistic than the full enchilada. Boy, what I wouldn't give for the ability to eat a cheese enchilada right now...must be strong.

Addicted

I think that I have a problem with food. I like it too much. Now that I can eat so little, I fantasize about what I can't consume. And then I binge on something I can, like tortilla chips (I had to look at 10 brands before I found one without soybean oil). Happily, I am my prepregnant weight once again. My body is for sure not the same, though. Pass the chips.

Extreme Makeover

Today I finally cashed in my gift certificate for an "extreme makeover" at a local beauty college. I received my first ever facial which was very nice, got my hair cut and styled and had a spa manicure and pedicure. What a relaxing treat for a mom who doesn't get out of the house alone much. The five hours that it took to be pampered was the longest that I've been away from Lucas in his entire six months. It was so nice to have some me time again.

Note: That was a super baby shower gift! I was told to baby myslef after the baby came.

Half a Decade

Five years ago tomorrow, I got married. This night five years ago, I couldn't sleep because I was so excited about the next day's event and the future that was before me. 5 years ago, I had no idea what was in store. I called Mike several times throughout the night to remind him of things. "Don't forget the plane tickets." "Bring the license so that we can get it signed." "Please be on time."

Five years later and I am still reminding him of things. "Put the toilet seat down, I almost fell in." "Slow down, you'll give the baby whip lash." "Please wipe that nasty stubble out of the sink."

Despite the nagging reminders, I am also continually reminded of how much I love him and how blessed I am to have him as my husband and the father of my child.

Five years from now and we are going to celebrate in Hawaii. I wonder what I will be reminding him of then. "Don't forget your speedo."

Pukester

This week, our little pukiepie hit the bullseye, so to speak. Daddy was playing with Lucas by holding him over his head like an airplane. And the baby let loose and ralphed right in Mike's face...in the mouth to be more precise. Mike said that it tasted like chicken.

Restrictions

Yesterday we found out that the formula is not covered by insurance. We really can't afford $40-60 per week for it. And today, I finally had an appointment with a specialist about Lucas' allergies. Well, the good news is that I can continue to breast feed. That is the best thing that I can do for him. The bad news is that I can officially eat next to nothing.

My new diet has the following restrictions: Dairy, Soy, Wheat, Nuts, Berries, Citrus, and Eggs. All it leaves is meat, potatoes, rice, limited fruit, and vegetables. Mmmmmm. Can't wait for the holidays.

My head was ringing the whole way home. This royally sucks!

Only in California

Last night, our neighbor started mowing their lawn at 10:30pm. Why would someone be so rude when others are trying to sleep? Not to mention, how on earth could they see what to mow? SHUT UP and do it in the morning, you freakin' freak!

Luke Puke

Today is a tough day. Lucas is finally taking the straight up formula, which is good, but it is still a challenge to give it to him. He squirms and wriggles, distractedly looks around, digs his nails into my arm as it craddles him, and occasionally even blows the stuff out to be funny. It's a joy feeding him, lemme tell you. Oh and recently he's been even more spitupy than usual. The kid seems to spew up most of his meals sometimes. And often, I am the target of that yak.

Bad Mommy

Thump (pause) SCREeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeAM! No...he didn't...did he? I bolted into the room and found my poor baby lying there on his back next to a pillow screaming his bloody head off. He had finally done what I feared he would eventually. Lucas had rolled off the bed.

I had left him in our room happily playing on our bed a few minutes earlier to clean up a mess he made. I had even taken the safety procautions to block him from falling with pillows, or so I thought. On my way back, I got distracted by email, but for only a second.

I felt like such a terrible, neglectful mother to let something like that happen to my little son. Luckily, almost as soon as I held him and kissed him he stopped crying. Lucas was absolutely fine. The fall probably just surprised him. Someday when he does something crazy, I can blame it on the time he fell on his head when he was a baby.

Fire

We had a little scare a couple days ago. I was trying to nap and heard a weird popping noise from the front of the house. I wondered what Lucas was doing in his crib, but looked at the baby monitor and realized that the sound wasn't coming from his room. Maybe it was construction sounds from the roofers across the street? I heard the strange sound again and had to investigate.

As I entered our office I smelled a pungent smoke and saw ash pouring from the computer monitor. Ack, we have a fire!! Not sure what to do, I called Mike at work. Wouldn't you know it, he wasn't at his desk so I left a voice mail. "Our office is on fire, call as soon as you can." I peered into the place where the smoke was rising from and saw a ball of flame inside. Shaking, I dialed 911 for the first time in my life. This thing could blow up and ignite the room, our wooden roof and maybe burn our house down.

As I was talking to the operator, I grabbed my sleeping baby from the next room in one arm and our wedding album in the other. He looked very confused and groggy and perhaps even a little pissed off. If he could have spoken he would have said, "Hey, ma, what are you doing?! Can'tcha see I'm sleeping here." Little did he know, I was saving his life.

As I was getting off with 911, the other line beeped in and it was Mike. I quickly explained the situation. "Did you unplug the monitor?" Uh, no. So, I dropped Lucas off on our bed...I wasn't going to take my baby into the inferno ...and ran in risking my life to try to find the right plug in the sea of wires. Once I unplugged everything in the room, I evacuated the house with the baby. I phoned my parents as the fire engine with sirens screaming pulled up in front. So cool! If only Lucas was old enough to appreciated it. They brought the smoking monitor out of the house and fanned out all of the toxic fumes (though it still smells a little acrid like fried machinery in here).

Mike came home, we went to the mall to allow our place to further air out and he took me out to dinner.

Anyway, as a word of friendly advice...don't leave anything electronic running while you are not at home. The fireman said in another 30 minutes, we would have had a house fire. Praise God that we were all safe, as was our place, all but the toasted monitor. Now Mike has an excuse to finally get that flat screen.

Small Again

I am getting thin again. It's nice to nearly have my old body back after seeing it morph into something huge and unfamiliar for about a year. Only about 3 pounds to go to get back to my prepregnancy weight. Not too shabby.

Is this because I am training for a marathon and running my butt (and thighs, and stomach, etc.) off? Nope, I'm having a really tough time getting into a running routine with the baking summer heat and my recent lack of sleep at night with a sick and perhaps teething baby. My recent shrinkage is primarily because I am on a new "I can't eat anything" diet. Lucas has so many food allergies that I am severely limited as to what I can eat. No dairy, soy, nuts or berries. It's tough because I am a sweet tooth and ice cream junkie and those are all off limits. Also, soy is in everything. Try checking any label and I'll bet you find a soy ingredient.

I am starting to wean him which is really sad but probably best for all of us. If he would just freakin' take the formula. He pushes the bottle away and screams. I can't imagine why?! The stuff smells like feet and he let's me know he hates it. If he keeps this up, he's going to start shrinking, too. I don't know what to do.

New Tricks

Here are a few of Lucas' latest learned stunts:
1) Toe sucking
2) Making bubbles and fart noises with his lips
3) Rolling over (he's been doing this for over a month now)
4) And my personal favorite...trying to touch the baby that he sees in the mirror

It is AMAZING to see him grow.

Twentysomething

Only one more year of my twenties to go. Weird. Am I old?!

Last year on this day, I found out that I was pregnant. My how my life has changed in just 365 days. Different home, different job, different state. It's like I am not really me anymore. Wait, I am still me, but only better.

Fears Realized

Today, two of my greatest fears came true today (well nearly anyway).

1) My little boy almost rolled off our bed.
2) I put my hand in the garbage disposal with the "blades" still spinning.

Let's just say that I caught him just in time before he fell to bonk his head or worse. And luckily all of my digits remain intact after reaching into the disposal that was still apparently on. I wouldn't stick my hand in there for years fearing that it would just randomly turn on. Now it is something that I routinely clean out. I turned the switch off and stuck my fist in only to feel the quick sting of the churning machine. It did absolutely nothing to me, but I hurt mentally for an hour or so. Mike wouldn't take me to the hospital like I asked him. Jerk!

Now I need to avoid all bridges (so I don't drive off), walking on thin ice (so I don't plunge into the frigid depths unable to find the hole I fell in), and guard my teeth with my life (so they don't get shattered, of course). And then there are spiders...

Silence

What is it anymore? It's something that I rarely hear these days. I shower to screaming, eat to whining, and shop to cries. Oh and I have a good baby. He's not colicy or anything. Oops, there he goes, he's up and fussing AGAIN...gotta run.

Sleeping In

I have a whole new perspective on sleeping in now that I am a momma. This morning when the sun came streaming in the window, I peeked at the clock and it was a little after 6 am. I thought, "Oh good, I get to sleep in today." And I actually felt refreshed for a change. REFRESHED AT FREAKING SIX IN THE MORNING!! I remember the days not too long ago when sleeping in was snoozing until around 9 am. Now we are lucky to get shut eye after 6.

Yesterday was a tough morning. He woke up at 4:30 am and didn't want to go back to bed after that. I think that he wanted to be with his daddy for Father's Day. So we pulled him in between us and eventually the little guy conked out and we were able to get a tad more rest in. I kinda like those weekend mornings where we all cuddle up together in our bed. It reminds me of crawling into my own parent's bed when I was a kid. And how safe and loved I felt. Now we are on the other side of the bed--the parents. It is still crazy to think it, yet wonderful.

It's Official

Starting next week, I start my training for the December 4 California International Marathon. I've recruited a training sucker, er, I mean partner and I am rearing to go. I've got 10-15 pounds to go to get my old body back and I may just be there in time for bathing suit season. Whoopie!

Alone

This week I started really feeling like I am very much alone in California. Sure, I have friends here, but no real compadres as of yet. I don't talk on the phone with anyone. No girls night at a coffee shop. Or ever take a quick walk or jog with anyone. Just me and my baby all day long. It's a really tough transition after spending most of my life in one place and having countless pals to call up and/or hang out with in Orlando. I am no longer working either, so I have no real adult interaction. And Mike is gone for 10+ hours a day and then wants to have his unwind time, balance the check book, etc, when he walks in the door. After dinner and Lucas' bath, I am off to bed (often by myself).

I miss my friends, I miss my husband, I miss my old self and life. But I wouldn't give up this time with my sweet child for anything. I am just in a new stage now and hopefully I will get used to it and into more of a routine soon.

I need to be more purposeful about making friends, too. It is I who needs to make the effort. People here already have their friends, so I must seek them out. Maybe this season of aloneness is so that I can focus on God and my baby.

Busted

Last weekend as my sister was visiting, we ventured out for some sight seeing. I had my first feed Lucas in public experience. We were in Old Sacramento, a local tourist spot that resembles an gold mining town and it was time for my little boy to eat. Mike helped me to find a quiet bench in a secluded seeming area. There were hardly any people around as I covered myself with a blanket and started to feed my son. And then wouldn't you know it...a tour bus pulled up and people poured out. I'm glad that I wasn't arrested for indecent exposure. Oi.